Brooke Hogan’s Devastating Playboy News

I know you’re thinking that I am about to announce that Brooke Hogan is going to be in Playboy and issue some kind of warning that the day it hits newstands you should refrain from eating because it will guarantee throwing up all over the place uncontrolably, but the truth is, the only pussy that ever made me throw up was a meaty, mangled lookin’ mess that smelled like feces and onion, and even that could have been caused by some bad chicken I ate earlier that day. What I find upsetting is that she turned down Playboy for now, and that sucks because I wanted to compare dick sizes like this dude I knew used to do when he was 6.